Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My Excursion with Extra-Terrestrials

Dear Friend,

I will never forget my journey to the Andromeda Galaxy. It left a mark on my being that pierced my heart and changed my life forever; it opened me to my life's promise and how I was bound up with the destiny of our Earth.

My story I'm about to share with you in detail may sound like Science Fiction, but it's all Psychic Fact! I can assure you that it's as real to me as your everyday experience of our world.

It was about 3 am in the morning when I was awakened by a deep, heart-pulsing whirling sound that sent revolving reverberations through my body and, as I opened my eyes, I gasped: at the foot of my bed were spiralling balls of light moving up and down in an oscillating fashion, rather like a cork screw effect...

I was not scared! No, on the contrary, I felt a strong familiarity of family: the familiar vibe of my friends.

Telepathically, I heard the balls of light speak, "We have come to take you to the Andromeda Galaxy, as agreed; it is time."

The impact of their words evoked a remembrance in me; it brought it all back in a rush. I had a vivid flashback of having lived in such a place, standing on a sandy plain, the sun blazing behind me and the trees highlighted by the rosy orange skyline, their arching branches not unlike our Joshua trees. There were two suns... with one slightly smaller and behind the larger, more dominant sun. I was clearly on another planet and it felt like a higher dimensional plane - much more fluid and shimmering in its physical appearance than ours.

I recalled having made an agreement with the Andromedians to reconnect and visit at a specific time as part of my role to aid and assist our Earth into the 4th and 5th Dimension.

And this was my wake up call.

Here I was, lying wide awake and struck with the familiarity of it all, even with the accompanying high frequency vibrations coursing through my veins. At the same time I chose to rise up without a second thought and they proceeded to take my hand in their to help me up - though they didn't really have hands, it was more in the sense of an empathetic gesture as I sank my hand into the semblance of theirs in deep trust...

As we disappeared through the wall together I was aware that I had left a version of me lying on my bed on my back watching this other version of me go off with them out into the night to venture into a small craft about the size of a snow mobile awaiting our presence and suspended midair just outside our hut.

As we all boarded I felt the craft flex to accommodate us and I snuggled up to my brothers in cosy delight. I felt both safe in their presence and at the same time deeply excited.

The smooth, svelte snow mobile type of craft was almost silent as it rose gracefully into the air and sped off into the darkened skies to meet the mother craft stationed in deep space.

On the way we raced through the planets, flying past the beautiful pink of Venus twinkling in the velvety blue of outer space light and then I saw her, the mother ship, a splendid creation suspended in space like a city of light: glistening, vibrating and oscillating. She appeared to be made of liquid metal and seemed to be alive and ever so slightly changing her shape as you looked at her. It reminded me of a pair of lungs moving and still, imperceptively changing shape. As to the colour of the ship, well.... it appeared to be iridescent hues of copper, silver and blue!

I had the distinct feeling that she was welcoming my presence.

We seemed to move from our small craft into the mother ship by diffusion and at the same time a hatch door opened and we found ourselves on what looked like a runway inside the ship edged with little blue lights, not unlike a fashion show catwalk.

As we glided down it, I felt like I was moving without effort, as if I were on a conveyor belt and there was this whooshing, whirling sound coming from the heart of the craft.

I found myself being entranced by the d├ęcor of the ship. I loved the fact that there was a complete absence of sharp or angular lines; the architecture of the space was smooth and curvy with a spiral design at its core.

And I loved the fact that the ship was so perfectly warm; as you walked the craft would monitor your temperature and adjust it to suit you!

I found myself being led into a small room with no furniture apart from a type of glass-like coffin pod and beheld the amazing countenance of a tall wise Grey (from an advanced faction of the Zeti Reticula ETs), about seven foot high.

I was not at all freaked out; on the contrary I instantly trusted this being as compassion and gentleness seemed to emanate from his venerable being. I knew that goodness was his soul vibration and he could never even conceive of hurting another.

He took my hand in his hand. It was gnarled like the bark of an oak tree, yet so translucent you could almost see through to his veins; his skin like alabaster.

I fell deeply into his trust and lay back in this pod. The glass top came over and clicked softly into place and then I felt I was being scanned with gentle light in rainbow colour pulses.

I caught my breath: to my surprise I saw a version of me being replicated in another pod next to mine.

"I will take care of you," the tall Grey whispered telepathically, sending waves of compassion and love to soak my body. "We are going to make a clone version of you so that you can travel to the Andromeda galaxy unharmed."

"We need to do this, for if you went unprotected in your present physical state you would haemorrhage."

And so, as I lay there in my glass coffin tube, layers of light began to play over my skin and deep within me too. At the same time I had the distinct awareness that there was still a version of me back in my bed 'dreaming' all of this and yet fully awake too.

The compassionate Grey appeared to be watching and monitoring me carefully, checking my heartbeat and blood changes, etc. as I went through the duplication process. It didn't hurt at all, but was, in fact, very pleasurable; I felt I was being bathed in sunlight.

Then I saw myself as the cloned version of me getting up and being escorted by the balls of light to another door.

What I saw next stunned me; I was dazzled in delight and wonderment. Automatic doors opened to reveal a star ship contained within this one, unlike any I had ever seen before.

This one was a shimmering light and had a dodecahedron geometric pattern, composed of a twelve pointed star, oscillating and vibrating. As I watched it, it kept changing its shape into other geometric configurations and patterning, all accompanied by a deep vibrating hum that caused me to vibrate into ecstasy.

And as I vibrated in this ecstasy I could hear tones, similar to musical notes, coursing through me as they coursed through the extra-terrestrials as we fine tuned and shaped the configuration of the ship's domain and set its destination.

I gasped as I realised that I was one of them. I was - they were - one with the ship's consciousness. I felt and knew that the ship was an extension of ourselves and intricately bonded to us.

We were truly one: a living, breathing mer-ka-ba energy body of consciousness...

Then another resounding memory hit me, we actually don't 'travel' as such in their ships; we adjust our own and their ship's frequency to the coordinates and frequency of where we want to be and then find ourselves instantly re-located through resonance.

And so together, as one being including the craft, we rose in our frequency, like a soaring anthem of love, light and ecstasy as we set our energy to Andromeda. I felt I was spinning like a top as we merged with the craft and Andromeda itself and we became liquid light on fast-forward!

Accompanied by a very high pitched whistling, we appeared to vibrate faster and faster, setting our intent for the resonant frequency of our destination planet in the Andromeda Galaxy and... we suddenly were 'there' in what felt like a few seconds.

I could feel that the craft had indeed become more 'solidified' again as we stepped out onto a sandy plateau, my ears ringing and slightly disorientated from the translocation. We were met by a glorious expansive rocky landscape with a haunting scent of pine lingering in the air, reminiscent of the ethereal realm of perfect beauty and vivid presence that Jody Foster 'went' to in the film Contact.

We beheld beautiful towering purple mountains kissing a pink orange sky. The air felt very rarefied. I sensed the oxygen content to be much richer than Earth, but I got used to it very quickly and drank it in deeply. As I contemplated this weird and wonderful place I found myself in I saw deep valleys and plains that appeared to stretch forever and exude an orange glow about them, rather like looking through tinted sunglasses.

I was then greeted by some amazing beings who I cannot even attempt to ascribe an appearance to, for they kept shifting their form as they talked to me.

I found myself laughing out loud! I realised that they had this amazing ability to change their physical appearance to mirror my own thoughts and emotions. I found it fascinating to see my inner vocabulary played out in the physical appearance of another; they were indeed master shape-shifters!

I had the distinct feeling that they could see right into my heart, and read my entire thoughts and their perambulations.

I greeted them by crossing my right palm over my heart, accompanied by voicing "Exaltations, Friends!" (I had previous learned that this was the customary galactic greeting!)

A smile broke over their bodies, like the sun coming out, making me feel that the whole planet smiled with them! They were individual but also I was strongly aware that I was in the midst of a very strong group consciousness. It felt totally inviolate: the energy was completely uninvasive, infused with an inbuilt respect, strength and stability.

Then, after a mutual pause they began to speak as one, "We have been monitoring you and planet Earth for years, watching your progress and your desire to re-member and re-engage with your true empowered and naturally ecstatic selves. You have decided to reconnect with your extraterrestrial and other dimensional roots to assist your integration back to your whole Self. We have invited you here because we wanted you to take a message back to Earth - not one that would be transmitted just verbally, but one that would emanate from your frequency and your beingness. And that message being that this time when humans meet us on Earth that they would not treat us as Gods, but as equals.

"We came before with the Sirians to your ancient Egypt and shared wisdom and technology that was expressed in the creation, art and symbology of the pyramids and the Egyptian civilisation, but we were then elevated to Godhood. And this catalysed your descent, due to this artificial separation between your God-Self and your limited self.

"Much time has past in your own growth and ascension, as stirrings and pangs in your being to know who you really are have awoken. You have become hungry for your light again and to know how your true power lies within yourself and to no longer ascribe it to an external symbol or body or another.

"You have done well. You have learnt so much about your own power of creation and its implications. You have become discerning and more self-aware, knowing the true implications of a heart-centred awareness and clarity of intent. Your sub-conscious is no longer hidden to the back of your mind or in myths or concealed in stories, but is all coming out to be healed and integrated. All this is so that you can be all that you are and not a shadow of yourself, becoming fully conscious and to affirm your resplendent choice in the version of Earth you wish to create.

"People of Earth now know it's time to remember their own Godhood.

"You are indeed Gods in creation."

"And you know that your own unique part in this legacy is to help raise the frequency of Earth into the next dimension of itself by helping others raise their frequency to the level of their God-like Stature..."

And so I came to hear and imbibe the message from the stars from Andromeda: that we are indeed Gods-in-Creation and that our promise is being fulfilled: to remember (re-member) our creator-hood and that our entire reality, life, world and universe is created out of our inner utterances and brilliant imagination. We are all One creating our individual and discreet worlds within worlds, a bit like a Russian doll. We are layers within layers of ourselves and yet all here now. The message is to Open your eyes, Open your being and feel all that is entirely obvious to you, which you have hidden within yourself and so cleverly concealed!

And so dear ones, sleep deeply, dream vividly and know without a shadow of doubt that you are your entire living reality-dream including the events that happen to you. Know that it is all a perfect refection of you and that that reflection is entirely unique to each individual. You have your own life theme and what you are wanting to live out, learn and integrate what your greatest aspirations are, and so thread them together to make a purer and purer reflection of your ideal world. You are learning that there is no difference between the imagined and the real. As you allow yourself to be all that you are in your integrity and joy, you will find that your whole world, and all of us around you IN your world, literally moves with you, for it is the body and playground of your consciousness (which is, of course, OUR Consciousness).

Honour and love everything and everyone as your living dream and as your own artistic expression, and you will transform everything into love. We are each Gods Incarnate and in Creation!

And when you do meet your extra-dimensional counterparts - don't forget to treat them as equals in our creation and to greet them, hand on heart, with "Exhalations, Friends!"

Exaltations! Dear friends.

Leela
PS Because of the higher energies in this blog it may provoke deep memories and/or energetic shifts within you, as well as new understandings and clarity about your role and your relationship with reality!

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

When you hit the wall - how to get through the Dark Night of the Soul

Hello dear Friend,

There comes a time in our growth and Ascension when we hit what appears to be a wall.

Out of the blue it comes, like the sound of fire doors being slammed shut around you, imprisoning you in a 'grey' room with no windows, no light, no way out! You are left gasping for breath and stunned in bewilderment: you have hit the 'wall'.

This is like a ceiling limit that you are wanting to go through in order to be free of all attachments to your physical reality that have kept you in limitation.

Two weeks ago, when I hit my own dark night of the soul, I felt I was going out of my mind. Everything that I had previously held in store about the nature of my reality appeared to be unravelling fast; this was the most awesomely painful loneliness I have ever experienced. It was accompanied by losing everything in my life that I had believed gave me meaning, value and stability. It felt like the whole framework for my life that had been previously cultivated, perfectly schooled and groomed over the years was disintegrating.

I had to just let go and go and feel my own way through it; there was no way out, all my bridges had been burnt.

There was no one to turn to, only my guides and my trusty gut feeling: my instinct by my side.

When you too, hit this wall, I know that it will be the hardest thing you have ever gone through and, whereas I was on my own, I want you to know that, if you like, I will be with you, holding you in my heart every step of the way.



And so dear one if you find yourself in the dark night of the soul, wrestling in the madness of your own desperate thoughts, do not try and push yourself through it. You need to feel everything. Feel everything... and it will pass.

Even though it will feel like you are going crazy, please be assured that you are not going out of your mind; you are breaking free of the attachments that you have created and that you believe you needed to validate your existence or give you a sense of purpose or meaning in your life.

For me that was a job, a stream of clients and opportunities to assist and support other people. And so I created what I feared the most - the unthinkable: for all those things to be taken away from me that I used to validate or justify my existence.

I had to feel the absolute agony of experiencing the strength of my own ego when divided against myself: falling prey to the belief that I needed a job, clients, even a 'life purpose' for being here, believing that these things gave me value, meaning or validity to my life.

The strength of my will to not let go of all this was creating havoc, like the pain of teeth being extracted ...

I was so stubborn; I wanted to hang on and on to these beliefs. Like a dog with a bone I wouldn't let go. The more I clung onto these ideas that I ought to be trying to make a living, make my life work, get myself out there and so on, the more I created disintegration in my life.

This effort was so obviously not working that the only way was to go with the flow of what I was feeling and to know that, somehow, this was my excitement and joy too.
And that is what I had to go into: I had to feel every last part of it and be broken down by it.

Yes, I needed to be broken and I wept and I surrendered as I was torn asunder.

What I experienced was that you cannot rush this process; you need to allow yourself to feel everything to its raw essence. Let yourself cry; rage is normal, even feeling suicidal is common too. For you are facing everything in your being that you have used to keep yourself subdued and restricted and you're losing those things in your life that you have used as a crutch to give you a sense of stability, security and meaning .

You are going through a process that is cathartic. It feels like you are being stripped of everything. It is like trail by fire and water' combined: everything that you thought you needed to be you is stripped away.

See it as a process of purification and do not resist any emotion that comes up. Feel it, accept it without judgement and follow the flow of your emotions and feelings in your body; it will take you into what you really want.

In fact, know that the greater the degree of despair, the more you need to let go of. For indeed, you are fighting yourself, desperately trying to cling onto anything with the semblance of normality; it feels like you are losing your reality. And you are: the one you previously held onto so dearly and tightly in order to try and maintain control!

The only way out is to embrace the unknown, the instability, the uncertainty as your own flow. Then something amazing starts to happen: as you flow with the uncertainty you become open to the unexpected. And then you really do start moving into the higher realms of living an exuberant and light filled life.

Know that when you're facing this it means you have hit a pinnacle point in your spiritual evolution. Know you will break through the ceiling of your reality as you perceive it now; you will pass right through it all.

It's time to let go. It's time to let go and fly!

As you see all the things in your life fall away from you, know them as your attachments that were like weights to hold you down. And as you let go of these attachments by not resisting or trying to control what is happening you will start to fly.

Bravo, Bravo!

However, as long as you resist this momentum of your life, more and more of your life will break up!

For you are going into a higher frequency now. Just like being a very finely tuned instrument, you need to allow yourself to flow and not to resist whatever is happening - even despair, sadness, and loneliness - just go with that as your flow too. Resistance creates heat in your being; you will burn yourself up, create aches and pains in your body; you will cause things to fall apart as you resist your own momentum.

You are venturing through an asteroid belt of you own making. Stop trying to dodge the asteroids and simply go with the flow; you will be perfectly safe as they slip right on by. You can't stop it now. You have come so far!

One thing that also really helped me when I was at my lowest point was that I asked myself the question: "What do I really want? What could I give myself now, when all external stimuli and support mechanisms have been stripped away?"

And the answer was so clear: to be in my light, ecstasy and joy, to love, to fall deeply in love with the whole of my reality - hook, line and sinker.

And that's what I did!

Looking back I can see how wonderfully my dark night of the soul helped me to lose these things in my life that was distracting me from feeling and getting in touch with every particle of me that wasn't pure, and to help me energetically to the place where I truly wanted to live my life.

And you know what? I feel I have truly broken through, for suddenly, abruptly weird and wonderful things are happening; the main one being that I have lost my driver for the need to earn or be successful, or even have a purpose.

Gosh! I feel such peace!

I have never felt such profound peace. I have lost my old sense of identity - I feel like I am merging and melting into everything. All I know now is that I am, I am, I am!

I am just pure beingness...

It feels amazing! I am so grateful for this experience, "Thank you my Universe, thank you my God, thank you my life! I know I have truly made it. I have hit and entered the pinnacle point in my life where I need nothing to give me permission to be All that I am!"

This is what I have always wanted. It only ever been just a hair's breath away and yet I felt I had to control, manipulate or fix my life just to live, breath and dance in absolute light, splendour and love.

But now I HAVE let go of all that effort and now I am whooshing around in my joy and light.

Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in Excelsis. Literally, I have stripped way the layers of my being that I created to keep me tightly in control. And I am now so very comfortable being in my own skin.

I no longer have to do that much in my life... As I exude my joy and passion without expectation, just for its own sake, as I have really let go of control of my reality, my life is coming towards me. I appear to be attracting what I truly desire in the most amazing unexpected ways. Each day has become a living adventure even in the 'mundane'. Now I play and dance in my love and joy, truly being happy with where I am at and truly being ecstatic with not having to have those things in my life that I thought I needed. I whirl and waltz away my hours sewing, walking, playing, cleaning, musing and writing!

God! I feel like a child!

Now, just when I thought I had hit total acceptance, and in not just passive way but in a totally blindly ecstatic way, the unexpected happens...

I become enveloped in a complete dimensional shift. It feels like when we are in 3rd density we have to work outwards to make things happen, but now in my new dimensional experience things appear to come towards me.

I have this definitive feeling: I am literally living a dream of me; I feel am actually living IN a dream!

This leads me gently by the hand to remember and feel so clearly how I felt when I was living in the star system Arcturus in another 5th dimensional reality life experience, when as an etheric being of light, I only would have to think of something and it would appear! For example, if I wanted to get somewhere, I was already there! (Much like you may have already experienced in a dream)


I feel that the more I let go of controlling my reality the more I am now living as my Arcturian self, right here. It is as if that version of me has become me and is more me and more real than the version of 'me' that I was (prior to my dark night of the soul).

I am being ' me', here now on earth, so utterly, utterly clearly!

I don't have to do much: I think of something, I am in joy and it manifests. It's all become one event without interruption.

I realise that when we 'want' something, we have already created the idea of separation, because we feel we are separate from what we want, and that feeling actually pushes it away...

Making it all one event, by BEING the event or thing I desire means there's no interruption between the desiring, the manifesting and the enjoyment of its experience! And, of course, it usually then manifests in the most unexpected ways!

In this way, openings and opportunities have begun to open up for me in ways that I did not foresee before when I was so locked into the need for things to happen in a certain way.

All this has led me to be in such a place of wonder and ecstasy in this moment...and in this next moment... and this next moment!

I feel I no longer need a label or an identity, such as a spiritual teacher, a healer or even to be known as an Ascension Teacher; for a label would now limit me.

Nor do I need something to happen to make me happy, for as I desire it, I am it.

What this means is that what I truly desire to create, I create and I create for the absolute pleasure and fun of watching the whole process of my creation: from a desire to create 'something', to going into love and resonance with it and imagining its exquisite flowering, and then, with absolutely no effort or even thinking about HOW to create it, it just happens in its own way (thinking about how I could create it seems to stop the process in its tracks!) and I am dazzled in delight by the physical manifestation and flowering of my creation.


You see, it's more this process of going into love that is so thrilling for me and quakes me to the bone, rather than being hooked into the goal of mere manifestation itself; though that's a fun by-product that appears to happen automatically!

Rather, I am simply enjoying being in love with all my creation.

So, out of this place of the dark night of the soul, I seem to have moved into yet another level of me, to the point of being stripped of everything in my life that I thought I needed to be me and make me happy.

As all those things, supports and labels are now taken away; I am left with just 'me': I am all stillness, all quiet, all nothingness, all no-one-thing.

As I feel and explore this feeling with the whole of my being, I feel it utterly to my core. I sense that this Me, this 'substance' of Me I can feel when all is else is 'gone' is not just 'me' the witness of it all, but also that this 'me' really is my entire reality too: my life and my world, even my entire Universe. And as I behold this in awe, I recognise that everything has actually been born out of my imagination and has my own flavour running through it all! I immerse myself in the embrace of: All of This is All Me and that All of Me is All There Is.

This is indeed a place of deep peace, utter beingness and bliss, for there is nowhere I need to go to and there is nothing I need to strive for or attain: I am All there ever was and All there ever will be.

And from that state of everything being All Me and All There Is, I ask myself what I want now? What is my natural impulse?

From somewhere deep inside my core I feel a deep primal desire to love absolutely and unconditionally as my prime motivation: to create and to relate, to go into dynamic relationship with my whole reality, to love, honour and own my entire life experience as Me, to make it all utterly Personal and so discover and enjoy and have fun in learning throughout the unfolding of my creations, to take the leap into viewing my entire reality as my lover and teacher - loving me and supporting me into being more of me.

From that place of loving my entire reality as Me, I come to know and feel the profundity and implications that manifestation is not just a 'thing' that is manifested, but that I am the very thing being manifested, itself!

So, my dark night of my soul has led me to know 'This is All Me', and yet I am still enjoying the exquisite sensation of being IN a physical reality, experiencing the joy of some polarity and a sense of separation that gives me something to play with, to be in relationship with my entire reality as if it were my 'lover' and 'teacher ' and so discover more about me and my own personal reality.

And that, of course, includes you, dear reader, making an 'appearance' in my world with me, in my imagined universe. You, dear one, are born of my desire to know more of me, as I am born out of your imagination and your desire to know more of you. I sense that we are indeed utterly the same One; yet at the same time not only enjoying our own personal realities, but also appearing in each other's too!

Thus, we create relationship with the appearance of each other and 'things' in our reality, in order to savour, grow and enjoy the process of our creation: the joy of creation and the joy of just being, all happening simultaneously!

And the awareness of all this happens with absolutely no effort, but out of my unconditional ecstasy and wonderment that I am, indeed, in Oneness with the wonderment of all creation.

Again, all this has arisen out of the pain, and even despair, of hitting my wall and reaching the ceiling limit of my reality: my dark night of the soul

So, take heart, dear one. If you are going through your dark night of the soul, know that if you allow yourself to move through it without judgement of yourself or trying to control the process, you too can move into the brightest light of you that you can imagine.

This is your greatest moment; even when you feel you are being broken down and you are in the midst of such unquenchable angst know that this is your joy too, your flow and excitement. Know that you have asked for this; be in gratitude for this breaking free of your negative beliefs and attachments. And then you will move into your light...

If you are feeling your own dark night of your soul now, I am so happy for you! For, indeed, you are also at the cusp of your light! This is your sacred moment. This is the moment you have been waiting for!


Leela
Loveandinsight.com (my main website: healing, courses, resources)
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